论文和自白/工作与生活的平衡

4预算您必须给出的f*ck的规则

经过 | 2020年5月29日,星期五

我毫不掩饰地喜欢治疗。我敢说这是我最喜欢的消遣。治疗师的办公室是一个神圣的避难所,适合我最复杂的情​​绪和我认为自己不可思议的部分的家园 - 是的,这是我在她的办公室里打开的话题。在过去的十年中,我一直在接受治疗,多年来,我研究了各种主题,包括自爱,自我接受,治愈的儿童伤口和living in America as a Black woman.

大约一年前,我达到了一个一直在我触及的真相。我告诉我的治疗师,“你知道我意识到什么吗?我一直给别人的意见太多 - 价值太多。我太自由地将精力放弃了,就像扔掉的捐赠一样。只有你才能成为能量的监护人。”她在笔记本中刻画了一些话。我沉没了,担心我说了一些破坏性的事情。我屏住呼吸,沉默地浸入了头,只有一旦她说了些什么才允许自己站起来。“那是强大的。我将与其他患者一起使用这句话。继续,”她提出。

(Before we continue, is there a bonus prize for impressing your therapist? Because there should be.)

We rarely entertain the idea that more abstract concepts — time, emotions, boundaries, mental health — can be given the same attention and value as money. But these concepts can also be considered a form of currency, something which you should deem valuable and exchange wisely.

When we hear the word “currency,” most of us think back to the last Econ class we took or our most recent international vacation. It all feels so matter-of-fact, pre-determined, and set. And because of those associations, we rarely entertain the idea that more abstract concepts — time, emotions, boundaries, mental health — can be given the same attention and value as money. But these concepts can also be considered a form of currency, something which you should deem valuable and exchange wisely.

由于其有益的交换,货币之所以有用。为了获得现金,我们需要拥有贸易,工作,农产品等的精力。将您的自我价值,精力和心理健康视为长期投资或平等的能力。

Ultimately, our work and artistry are rooted in our ideas, but our grit and dedication to bring those ideas to life are ruled by our physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental energy. Without it, we can’t be our best selves or produce our best work. If we treat our energy and mental health as a currency as precious as gold, in return, we will have the stamina to live a more prosperous life.

尽管上述理论听起来不错,但没有适当的动作计划和有用的指南,这不过是一种脆弱的,葡萄酒的思想。所以我创建了一个。我将参考金融饮食yabo88 app视频在我的“手册”的部分内容中,“您应该知道的9个投资术语”。

1.列出任何现有的“债务” - 破坏您心理健康的习惯

We’re all familiar with the concept of debt, financially and otherwise. When we neglect our mental health and deplete ourselves emotionally, the lasting effects of burnout begin.

I have experienced the dark side of burnout andhave writtenabout it. It can trigger life-threatening habits, including disordered eating, self-harm, and suicidal ideation.根据今天的心理学,“由于身体在战斗或飞行模式下连续不断,情绪燃烧会改变饮食习惯,改变睡眠模式,消化问题,体重减轻或体重增加,心pal,高血压和头痛。情绪倦怠也可能导致与亲人和同事互动良好。

Burnout is akin to filing bankruptcy or depleting your savings and not having enough to pay the bills. At the height of my anxiety, I had to leave a steady paycheck because I was in a field of work that was triggering for me. I saw the red flags in the beginning. Not valuing my intuition cost me inner peace, which is a price that is always too steep to pay. By surveying these “debts,” you can explore where you need to invest in yourself.

Fortunately, investing back into yourself can be a “debt-repayment” plan of sorts. Some options include seeking professional help from a therapist or doctor, prioritizing your goals, and setting boundaries. But first, you need to take stock of the habits, obligations, activities, and commitments that are bankrupting your emotional and mental health.

2. Take inventory of the resources and people adding value to your life.

Financially speaking, “capital” refers to the resources at your disposal, including cash, human resources, and any items that can contribute to your bottom line. I would argue your “energy capital” is the existing emotional bandwidth you possess as well as resources and routines you are intentional about as it relates to restoring your energy.

If you were to take inventory of your current capital, what would it include? It could consist of a skincare routine you relish, a virtual pilates class you refuse to miss, or a weekly session with your therapist. (And a friendly reminder that self-medicating and self-care are not the same things, *pours wine.*)

通过获取更多的“能源资本”,您还收集了比自爱的更多(本身就是胜利)。建立友谊并通过俱乐部或体育联盟扩大网络可能会带来新的工作前景。您发现的对手工肥皂的热爱可能会导致忙碌或省钱的DIY爱好。

如果您想“投资资本”,则可以选择。低成本(和免费的!)资源可能包括日历中的调度技术禁食,您沉迷于绘画或舞蹈等重新出现的仪式或爱好,或者单独或与亲人的无中断的优质时光。如果您要建立自己的“能源资本”,那么您的创造力和心理健康就会减少。

3. Think about the ROI of your time, effort, & energy.

尽管imposter syndrome自我怀疑,我们许多人都拥有,我们确实决定了时间和精力的价值。我们还决定(除了一些例外)谁以及值得说的时间和精力。与我们的可支配收入一样,我们必须预算和评估我们提供的f*cks数量。

尽管我开发的一种策略是在考虑投资回报率或我希望渴望的结果。在金钱世界中,您投资股票以查看经济利益。在领导力中,您投资于团队以查看专业发展和积极的指标。确定“您追求的目标”将突出能源投资是合理的领域。

一个很好的例子是我的婚姻 - 就像每对夫妇一样,我们分歧。在我们的恋爱关系的早期,我会为每次交流,每一个争论“激情!我大喊大叫,因为我在乎!”我发现自己的排水量超过了我所需要的,尤其是关于家务的话题。

取而代之的是,我在与同事会面时会以相同的机智和考虑来进行我们的日常对话。我一直专注于呼吁行动,下一步,并确保所有各方都明确期望。它不像替代方案那样性感,但是我的上帝,我为婚姻的其他部分带来了更多的精力。我所拥有的剩余能量花在了概述的期望上,以确保我们的关系继续蓬勃发展。赢得争执并结婚,有两个不同的预算。

通过预算精力,我可以为更多的指挥项目,作业和个人目标保留自己的创造力和批判性思维。

4. Diversify the f*cks you want to give.

Diversification is more nuanced than “not putting all your eggs in one basket.” It is thinking about the cause-and-effect of your investments.

All of your energy and happiness cannot be put towards one person or area of your life. This includes your children, your partner, your job, and yourself. Ensure you’re creating space for the various inner worlds that are important to you. This cultivation of variety could include reaching out to one old friend every month, scheduling a weekly date night with yourself, or joining a running club.

几年前,我将几乎所有的自我价值,时间和灵魂都放到了我的工作场所中。因此,我的情绪和生活满意度与我的工作状况平行。如果公司看到下降,我的幸福也是如此。我的工作会遭受痛苦。如果事情很盛大,我可以在晚上睡觉,并有能量〜 * *〜第二天。正如人们所想象的那样,这种缺乏多元化是不健康的,吸引灵魂的,最重要的是,我的其他生活遭受了极大的痛苦。当公司裁员时,我开始旋转到一个黑暗的地方。我在这份工作之外没有身份或朋友。值得庆幸的是,这是我向新雇主带来的艰难教训,使我的生活有所不同。

经过diversifying your f*cks, you leave room for life to happen. The alternative could beg too much of your mental health or lead you to make poor financial decisions (what’s up, emotional spending) should you be thrown a curveball. But it’s life, and you will always be thrown a curveball.

*****

As with any new habit, financial milestone, or resolution for a lifestyle change, it begins with a goal. Regardless if you’re hoping to find more balance, gunning for a promotion, or hoping to save enough money for a downpayment, you’re going to need the energy to get there.

Jazmine里德·克拉克(Reed-Clark)是一种真正的犯罪和自我完善的迷,在人力资源工作,最终(最终)知道股票与债券之间的区别。她想。

图像通过pexels

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